RS: you made some mention of your siblings, do you care to go into that.
yr: i have an older brother and three younger sisters. my older brother rebelled against our m.o. parents by becoming chareidi. he's a bright guy and passionate and he found his calling in the world of talmud and prayer and chumras and isolation. he's got 11 kids and about 18 grandchildren. when i was a kid, he was the avant garde, the first line of rebellion against my parents, particularly my father. when he went to yeshiva in israel the year after high school his distinct about face from rebellion to obedience really threw me for a loop. i was depending on him to lead the way and he was leading in a direction that i did not care to follow, so i was left on my own, not quite able to lead my own rebellion, but being forced to do so.
RS: and your younger sisters?
yr: they're all M.O. living in israel. i have 12 nieces and nephews from those sisters and being close to them is important to me. I've never advocated leaving the derech to these kids, my marginal lifestyle (unmarried, unsteady employment) serves to underline my life as a cautionary tale, instead of as an inspiration to rebel.